Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Perception vs Reality

Last Sunday, I spent time with a friend (whom I will call Suraj). I met him during a mission trip and was drawn to him because he was a young christian passionate about missions and in a desert, anyone who speaks English is a rarity! The other interesting thing was that he was Asian and Christian- a breed I had not encountered before.

I had heard that the missionaries from Chalbi area were in town on furlough so I thought I would see both parties at a go as they attend the same church. It didn't work out that way. Although they had planned to go swimming, a well meaning parishioner decided that the missionary family had to come eat lunch at her home even if they had other plans that include a lot of water they will not be seeing for quite a while. Being African, turning this down or disentangling from lunch after one hour or so is just not going to happen. That meant that Suraj and I were left to our own devices. We left the church and looked for somewhere to eat. When we finally got into a fast food restaurant, we stirred quite a bit of interest. The rest of the patrons (all asian) made a production of being uninterested. A couple that sat nearby tried to listen in on our conversation. Some teenage kids did even better, they plopped right next to us. I think they had an earful of prayers and missions! Serves them right.


Afterwards, we went swimming. When we got into the pool area, the african majority again tried not to look too close. Suraj and I had noticed that the lights of a car in the parking lot were on. The moment we got in, he picked the nearest Asian couple to ask if it was theirs. The poor muhindi did not hear a word, he was staring with a look of undisguised disbelief. His wife had to jab him in the ribs to get him to respond to the question!! Then of course the only seat open at the pool was the one at the furthest end-very removed from the crowd. So we sat and had a great time catching up. His sister, it turned out, is dating an african man and Suraj said he liked him and had plainly told them that he wished them the best. Not so with the parents; they are furious! As we chatted away, the family close by was slipping surreptitious glances at us and talking about ...us...in Kikuyu. For the umpteenth time I overheard people talking in my vernacular being quite sure I do not understand a word.


When he finally plunged into the crowded pool, I pretended to read while I observed. And the suffocating reader can stop and breathe. No, I did not get into the pool. Ok? I kept all my clothes on and while your eyes are closed in intense relief, this writer would appreciate prayers for the healing of hydrophobia. Anyway, after a while, we gave up waiting and decided to leave so he went off to change and I waited for him outside the changing area and we walked out together. On our way to the bus stop I mentioned to Suraj that we had ruffled a quite a few feathers at the pool. He hadn't even noticed. Typical. His first comment was,"Oh yeah, am Indian guy walking with an African woman. I hadn't thought about that. That is strange". From then on, as we walked, we took to looking at the passing cars, in a predominantly Asian neighbourhood, for reactions. We were not disappointed. There were quite a few people who went out of their way to crane their necks either to get a clearer view of this unsightly phenomenon or make sure they weren't imagining things. We were rewarded with some amazingly nasty looks. One woman looked at us so badly I commented on it. Suraj laughed and said that if looks could kill, he'd have keeled over. Maybe its the matching yellow tops that we had both chosen to wear or the fact that we were having a grand time together but based on the reactions, I would conclude that people assumed that Suraj and I were couple. Suffice it to say that it was an entertaining sunday afternoon.


After the laughter, I began to think about the implications of my experience. You see, when a young African lady is seen with an older caucasian man, whether he is a reverend, missionary or maybe even a monk, the immediate assumption is that she is after his money. And no, it is probably not going to be in gift form. The same would be true of a younger african man with an older caucasian woman. What if they are contemporaries? Whoever the african is, they are considered to have graduated to a higher level at the very least financially. White skin is the colour of money.

So, what does it mean when a miro is with a muhindi? To be continued...

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